Lies

Why do you lie?

*****

I am happy of who I have become today. I may have not much to be proud of, but I am happy. That's what matters. However, I would not be who I am if not for all the wrong things I have said and done. 


I have made a lot of mistakes-- and I have learned a lot. I have done so many things that I am not particularly proud of. When asked about those, I flatly say that I refuse to discuss it.  Lying would not right the wrong-- it would exacerbate the situation. Most of us will agree with my last statement, but not all who agreed would have thought of what I have to say. This may just be some form of ranting, but, sometimes, we write so we could get it out. All out. 

"I lie because it's better to not let the person know of the situation, it would just hurt her."

This is a crude sugarcoating of "What you don't know won't hurt you.". I have always believed that the truth, and what is right, always finds its way to the surface--however deep down it may be kept in the core, however long it might take. Lying to cover up an earlier lie or a mistake is the absence of love and of courage and of humility. If you love a person, you will not want to hurt her. But, eventually, you would. That's the truth. It is not always about what we did right, but also, how we corrected our wrongs. If you truly, deeply love someone, you would have enough faith that she would understand you, that she, despite all the pain you might have caused, or causing her, would still have her faith in you. It is the faith that she would not just let it all go, even though, you know, that you do no longer deserve her patience and her trust and her love. Further, it is the courage. The courage to accept the consequences of your actions. The effect of all of your causes. She may not be the most understanding wife or girlfriend she could be, but, no one deserves to be in pain, because of your mistakes. Never acknowledging your mistakes or your shortcomings does not only reveal pride, but also, the lack of love. With such absence, what would suffice?

I never said that I never lied. I did. But as much as I can, I try my best not to. I have seen what havoc lying could possibly make. And I fear that, I might not be able to stand up to the consequences of my lies. I fear that I might hurt the ones I love even more than how much I have already did. I fear that I could feel so powerless when I wish to take back what I have done. Fear blurs all the good God has given, it shadows all the great things one can do. Only the simpler things remain seen. And so, the only thing I could do is not to lie.