This is the REAL THING.

I blog whenever I have this feeling inside of me that I cannot quite comprehend, this feeling that I know not how to put out. This ensemble of hatred, anguish, sadness, pity, spite and much more is really stealing my peace of mind. Maybe, this is the feeling one gets when something is bothering her. This is how I feel every time something I do not understand is bothering me. I have believed that I cannot quite comprehend why this feeling exists-- for me, it has become occasional. 

Until epiphany struck me. 

While I am listening to this song for over a gazillion times now, I think, I get it now.

I am writing about this NOT to humiliate the person/s involved. I am writing this to let THE person know that I understand what THE person is going through. 

So, here goes our story, and how I came up realizing something much bigger than what is seen. 

When I ask a person something critical, personal or anything out of the mundane stuff, I usually do so because I need confirmation-- not knowledge. This is my strong suit. I can understand a person based on what s/he does or says. This is not a super power. This is how I came to understand the essence of depth. How things are on the surface in contrast to the REAL THING. This is my depth.

So recently, I came to ask something crucial to an acquaintance of mine. I asked questions which are, for me and from some time now, already answered. 'Answered' not because THE person told me so, but rather because I understood THE person's depth. 

And because I have this talent, I was not shocked by what THE person told me. I need not explain what THE person confirmed, but it involves two individuals loving each other and the other two loving the other one and the other one being loved by the other two. (Tell me you got that right, smartass! :) )

But as we all know, relationships are never meant to be a party. The number of passengers allowed is limited to but two. Hitchhikers appear along the long road though. Our story vindicates this simile. 

I don't feel bad about this. This happens. What I feel bad about is when I know that I am being charged of something which is not true, the worse part?  It is when what I did is the complete opposite of what is charged against me. 

I do understand how THE person is feeling. I understand why. I have been there. But I never did what THE person did. 

I do hope that when the time comes that you experience real pain-- that when you are extremely hurt-- you will never opt to hurt someone who does not deserve to be hurt. 

Remember, when you are in agony, you succeed more in hurting the people around you. 

That is selfish. Selfishness is never a virtue.

*****

If you are reading this piece, you can call it your win. You were able to hurt me the same way I assume you are hurt. 

So, okay. I do not deserve that. I never said something wrong to you, I never did anything bad to you. So, why? If only you know how much I care for you and how much I pray for everything to be fine for everyone. FOR EVERYONE. 

And yes.

I forgive you.

*****

If ever you believe that I did something wrong to you, I insist, my conscience is clear. 
But for the benefit of the doubt, if I did, I hope that you forgive me, too.